Monday, October 29, 2007
his dream transcends
an illusion or real,
can it be now. In pain
his dream touches
comforting broken places
with love divine. In rest
his dream calms, directs,
guides and protects.
his dream has come
to drink from streams
that bring life.
an illusion or real,
his story blows through time
his hand reaches down
from within a cloud of unknowing
to those who believe in his dream.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
A Stone of…
Walk the Narrow Road
Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. (Matthew 7:13-14)
Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (John 14:6)
Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.(Psalm 84:5)
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Psalm 23 (NIV)
“The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not be in want.”
Pray God will lead people into a period of spiritual renewal. Pray people will be set free from stresses that keep them running away from God and keep them caught in the web of being busy. Pray Jesus would break the addictive practices. Ask Christ to renew their desire for God. Thank God that He desires a relationship with His covenant-children.
“He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters”
Pray people will turn their hearts back to God. Pray people will experience the richness of God’s goodness, His protection and His provision. Pray people will rest in God’s love and trust Him completely. Praise and thank God for how He cares for all of His creation.
“He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake.”
Ask God to lead people into the joy of right living. Pray Christ will restore people’s inner life. Pray people will desire what is true and worthy. Pray they will make choices in accordance to God’s will and that they will taste the joy of living right. Praise and thank God for how He gives rest to His people.
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”
Pray God will lead people through hard times of fear and grief. Pray that Christ would manifest His presence as they walk through difficult days. Ask God to protect them against evil powers. Pray people will find healing and comfort in and from Christ as they experience suffering. Pray the Holy Spirit would guide them as they walk through times of terror or confusion.
“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.”
Pray people will have a heart of thanksgiving and it will over flow in their hearts. Pray the Holy Spirit will convict people of sin and lead them to acknowledge God as the giver of good gifts. Ask God to send a spirit of grace and supplication over the people in the community.
“Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.” Pray that God’s goodness will cover people leading them to trust and desire intimacy with Him. Pray that Christ’s love would be revealed, drawing people into worshipping the one true God.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
after new triumphs accomplished in
spinning academic books around
what has been the outcome
of silence filled days in isolation
closeness to God or distance
at this point neither seem to be
a final conclusion, all I can muster
is to pound keys on my keyboard
releasing weeks of anxious emotions
soothe by returning to silence. Again,
in stillness hidden words appear
filled with celebration the end is here
followed by creative beginnings
to embrace again in silent isolation.
I found a poem in the midst of all the information
and words that are crammed in my mind! I finally
have a weekend with no pressures...I am going to rest.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Friday, September 07, 2007
was the expression written
to the newly-to-be weds.
These words opened a window
letting tears flow
within rows of cards.
Words will never express
what heart thoughts
want to convey:
May blessings full of rich life years
be yours, not strife and confusion.
May every moment be cherished,
the excellent and unpleasant.
May tomorrow be remembered forever
as a day full of foundational blessings.
To my son I will always love you
and to my new daughter I pray
we will share tears of joy
and to both of you I will try
to always be open to understand.
God I ask always bless and keep
these two special children.
Monday, September 03, 2007
every heart prayer.
Prayers that are not uttered,
the silent ones that rise
from the depth of a broken heart.
Prayers that are full of anguish
and despair followed
with questions of why.
Prayers of thanks for strength
You generously give daily
to make it through.
Prayers of praise for who you are
and thankfulness for the love
you give each day.
Thank you God again
for hearing our prayers
and that we can trust
you will answer.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
I found a flicker site on how preschoolers precieve aging...If they looked at me (only in my fourties) I am sure I am old too! Check out the site
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Donald Baines, a legendary Hollywood film director was on his bed dying as a young man interviewed him. As he was answering the questions, he started to have flash backs of the son he never knew, the offspring of a one-night stand. That night while sleeping he was given an opportunity to view different times in his son’s life.
What captured my musings is how tapes run in our minds concerning what we perceive people are feeling towards us or saying about us when in reality the tapes are not true. Baines kept saying, “I did not say that!” or “I would never say that!” But his son thought since his father never wanted to know him that he did not approve of him.
Kirk Douglas played Donald Baines, this was a perfect role for Douglas. This movie resonated in my heart because of working with people in the care home who are in their last days and how they react to those close to them.
From an email devotional here is what Henri Nouwen has to say about dying:
A Grateful Death
When we think about death, we often think about what will happen to us after we have died. But it is more important to think about what will happen to those we leave behind. The way we die has a deep and lasting effect on those who stay alive. It will be easier for our family and friends to remember us with joy and peace if we have said a grateful good-bye than if we die with bitter and disillusioned hearts.The greatest gift we can offer our families and friends is the gift of gratitude.
Gratitude sets them free to continue their lives without bitterness or self-recrimination.
By the way, “Miss Potter” was an absolutely delightful movie! It is going down as one of my top favorites to have a good cry over. I went to bed sobbing—I had my quota of being moved to tears! Thank you Kirk Douglas and Beatrix Potter. Kirk left me with musings to live life well and Beatrix inspired me to be creative.
Please remember that I was the only one to rent the movie "Illusion" and my young adults told me that "Miss Potter" was too sappy. I live life different from the crowd, thank goodness God and Murray love me for my romantic nature!
My prayer is that I will leave behind a legacy of being grateful for the life I have been given and that those close to me will be free from bitterness or self-condemning thoughts that I might cause.
Kirk Douglas is the same age as most of my good friends at Prairie Springs. Some of the most amazing people I know are in their nineties.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
My media player has been playing random songs, playing is Steve Bell - Feast of the Seasons. Here on the Prairies it has been raining for days. Today felt cold and it was good to use the stove instead of the BBQ.
Fall always brings feelings of family, comfort, and enchantment; this is my favorite season.
Oh night divine, oh night divine, that Christ was born!
Thursday, August 16, 2007
learning to walk through a delusion of emotions,
questions, banks and lawyers, to land face down
in exhaustion. In this place, invisible wings lift up
covered in devotion, strength is poured out entirely
enabling movement forward. Prayers are heard
simply answered causing the Fathers heart to break
crashing down tears, ministering angels surround,
His spirit spreads peace to comfort broken hearts,
closure comes unwanted but essential to move on.
Mari you live so far away I can not see your face or give you a hug, but I can pray and cry tears of love. As this day unfolds, and Marius's body is viewed, my prayer is that God's love will be so thick, that all in the room will know without question that Jesus is there. God protect my friend and her children as they walk through the next few days.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
totally captivating every part
one step at a time, slowly
into warm waters of love
to hear His whispers
in tranquil dark places.
He has the keys to a hidden abode
going farther into deep darkness
mysteries unravel within caverns
unlocking rusty antique locks
that falsely hold me captive.
Freedom from lies of unredeemed,
to be swept away by His call
escorted into depths unfathomable
within center fires of burning love,
that cover entirely,
causing me to fall, to linger...
Friday, August 10, 2007
unanswered questions from aching hearts.
All that can be done is to whisper a prayer
through misty moments of luminous stillness.
Love’s spirit is not easy to see always being
poured out with a continuous flow to soothe.
Layered pieces of broken glass, splintered,
scattered across fields of glimmering green.
Words from the old bluesman ring true,
“He will be with you until the deal goes down.”
Death’s sting is final on earth; love rises beyond
what can be precieved, forever without end.
All that can be done is to whisper a prayer
through misty moments of luminous stillness.
wispy memories flutter around
surrounded completely by truth
whispering softly to gently draw me in
Live life well before walking through
the unknowing cloud of mystery
choosing a path that leads to eternity
forever covered in love.
In this daydream called life
learn to care deeply, remembering
it is not about you.
Stand firm in what is truth
believing with all your heart
that love conquers all
Reconciliation will be the end
making right what was wrong
letting peace win
As in a twinkle
all has changed nothing is the same
except God’s unfailing love.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I had to post this quote today, it seemed to touch the core within me.
August is truly here, the morning air has a crispness to it that yesterday morning did not have. It is very strange how the weather changes over night. Another meaning for the word august is: marked by majestic dignity or grandeur. The month of August does have these qualities on the Prairies, everything starts to turn colour, rich reds appear sprinkled with a deep golden.
One more thought: It sure feels good to have finished my assignment on time and to know that through my struggle with injustice, God is with me. My youngest son and I watched a movie on Monday night titled, "The Sin Eater" based on the novel by Francine Rivers. I am sure it was a "b" rated movie, however the plot had me thinking. One idea that stood out was the people turned their backs on sin, ignored it and justice was not pursued.
I believe, I am on a justice theme in my walk with Jesus... my spirit has been truly grieving over the injustice that happens daily in our world.
A verse that is a life verse sure has been in face all week: Micah 6:7b-8 What does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
It appears easy enough to follow but we have really missed it on this command.Blessings
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
One more paper to write before summer ends...I actually enjoyed writing this one and I made the deadline. Yeah!
I might write a poem...later.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
I desire to walk in celebration not in the presence of grief.
Here I am telling the world. How foolish is that!
However, I continue to pray this will end...God have mercy.
I pray God will allow me to have greater amounts of His strength, grace and protection as I travel through the suffering.
Thank you Lord, for the word picture of hiding self under the protection of Your wings; here is were I will place my hope...
My heart is still crying silent cry's of mercy and I still have a paper due on Tuesday...LOL
1 Corinthians 12:26a
Pain entered into our midst
causes were numerous
Blame took hold
but who do you accuse?
of course not!
Suffering is not easily understood
no matter the reason
only a few
are willing to stop
to feel outside of self.
This world is full of anguish
can you see it?
can you hear it?
are you willing
to look into suffering?
walking in grace means:
looking at another
deciding to see
learning to listen
letting go of self
is the next step I take
going to help another?
Grace and love
are never the easy way
pain within another
no matter how I hide it
or avoid it
still affects me
teardrops are falling
into stained glass bottles.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Earlier today, a friend and I went out for our own journey, what a beautiful morning, God’s goodness was all around us. When I arrived home I looked up the word good in the dictionary, here is what Webster’s has to say: Good: effective, efficient, beneficial, valid, real, healthy or sound, enjoyable, pleasant, reliable, thorough, virtuous, devout, kind, dutiful, proper, correct, skilled, considerable, well.
If you have not been out on a prayer journey into your community, why not try it? Ask God where to go, who to take, how to go and to open your eyes and ears to the world around you as you journey out. When you pray on site with insight it is amazing how the spirit will lead you to pray for specific needs in your community. I encourage anyone who reads this post to try it and I would love to hear how it went and what insights the Lord presented.
Some sites to check out to prepare for the journey:
My body feels refreshed from an hour of walking and being in God’s presence as we prayed.
Monday, July 23, 2007
A question asked in my devotional time today was:
"What is my challenge today?"
Here are my responses:
Not to let emotions rule, but to seek God for guidance throughout this day.
Stop procrastinating, write my paper and enjoy the process.
Embrace the challenges that come today and walk in joy.
Love and understand the difficult people in my life.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
who is worthy to be praised:
so shall I be saved from my enemies…
The LORD lives;
and blessed be My rock;
and let the God of my salvation
signs all around, can you see?
can you hear? do you care?
she is a harlot among nations
apathetic in nature,
her heart is cold,
her body asleep,
supplications are only a whisper.
let grace surround completely
hedging in Shimon Peres to see truth,
desiring good not corruption
that has drawn others underground
towards darkness. Keep Golan Heights,
ancient Bashan, part of Israel – forever.
“Peace, Peace,” they shout,
when there is none to be found.
Wake up, wake up,
wash your eyes
watch and pray,
watch and pray.
Fulignous colour looms over the sun,
causing the silver moon not to shine,
stars have lost there twinkle
blinded by false light.
Wake up, wake up,
wash your eyes
watch and pray,
watch and pray.
change is drawing near,
hold the battle axe up high
letting it shine forth glory.
July 20, 2007 – R.Sloboda
"It is of the LORD'S mercies
that we are not consumed,
because His compassion's fail not.
They are new every morning:
great is Your faithfulness."
Can a corrupt tribunal have any part with you, one which frames evil into law? They conspire against the just and condemn the innocent to death. But the Lord has become my stronghold, and my God the rock of my trust. He will turn their wickedness back upon them and destroy them in their own malice; the Lord our God will destroy them.
In the evening, in the morning, and at noonday,
I will complain and lament, and he will hear my voice.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
one moment all seems real
wrapped entirely in normal
then without warning
invisible hands that heal
escort deeper into warm
tranquil waters of compassion,
care, comfort, and calm
releasing a time of rest
that once had total focus
to a place of lingering longer
in a daydream. Where
revival of being, begins…
July 18, 2007
announcing a new day is beginning
along with this new day
second chances for:
changing old habits
learning new ones
but most importantly
learning to embrace
the love of God
is really all mine...
At 6:30 on a mid July morning the air warm, the sun starting to wake up, my deck is beautiful and a wonderful sanctuary to experience the presence of God all around. The flowers Murray and I have planted just took off...
we hardly spent much on them, but wow...
have they decided they too love my deck!
I simply love all the colors, and the spirit of life that radiates off of these plants.
Off to work...I go...to love my special friends at the care home.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
contain diverse faces
each with a similar outline for life.
Fascination with differences
create room for wonder
layered among a smile
One life tries to understand
and befriend others, only to
experience walls of isolation
from crowded places.
Fear and anxiety,
mixed with different cultures
cause uneasy emotions.
Community is a place to walk
through walls that separate
Linking many worlds within one,
breaking down fear,
washing away anxiety,
here hope is found for a dying world.
July 16, 2007, R.S.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Day one shows pictures of Iran accompained by a woman singing the lyrics below (Persian Worship Music.) Check it out--I was lead to pray immediately for this nation. The song is beautiful. My prayer is that many hearts in this nation will be open to recieve the good news of Christ.
Lyrics to the song:
Jesus, the bread and the spring of life
Jesus, you are the bread and the spring of life
You guide me to the truth and salvation
You are the eternal son of God
The only intercessor to the sinners
O Jesus, you are my hope and my life
You have kept me only through your grace
There is nothing in me but iniquity
It is you who heals the pain in my body and soul
O Jesus, my beloved Jesus, Son of God
Jesus, you are the light and the Word of God
You are over and above the angels and the heavenly hosts
All power in heaven is in your hands
Our death and our life is according to your will
I named it walking with Yeshua for several reason: Walking with Jesus was already taken. I wanted to be orginal. At the time I was prayer walking (still am in fact that is what my class is on in a week.) These reasons are still the same, however I feel it is time to change the title.
Some ideas I am mulling over:
walking in prayer
walking in prayer with Christ
Uugh! I need to pray and perhaps an idea will come! Or I will just leave it be.
“Do not forget to pray, my boy. If your prayers are truly sincere, every day a new fervor will appear, a new thought of which you were unaware before, and that will give you new strength. You will understand then that prayer is education.
Remember this, too. Repeat to yourself every day and as often as you can: ‘O Lord, have mercy on all those who will appear before You today.’ For every hour, every second, thousands leave this world and their souls appear before the Lord, and no one knows how many of them leave this earth in isolation, sadness, and anguish, with no one to take pity on them or even care whether they live or die. And so your prayer for a man will rise to the Lord from the other end of the earth, although he may never have heard of you or you of him. But his soul, as it stands trembling before the Lord, will be cheered and gladdened to learn that there is someone on earth who loves him. And the Lord’s mercy will be even greater to both of you, for, however great your pity for the man, God’s pity will be much greater, for He is infinitely more merciful and more loving than you are. And God will forgive him for your sake.”
Russian novelist Fyodor Dostoevsky, was born in Moscow in 1821, the second son of a staff doctor at the Hospital for the Poor. Dostoevsky graduated as a military engineer from the Army Engineering College in St. Petersburg, but resigned his commission in 1844 to devote himself to writing. His writings, which include Notes from Underground and Crime and Punishment, deal with moral and philosophical questions and had a profound influence on the the twentieth century novel. He died in St. Petersburg in 1881.
When I began my journey with Jesus 13 years ago, the first book I read was Andrew Murray's classic, "In the School of Prayer with Christ." This quote by Dostoevsky reminds me of Murray's teachings. However, the thought of praying for others who pass from this world to stand before God is a new thought!
It has been three weeks since my surgery and my body and mind are still not connecting. I need to get on with it (life and things that is) but my body is not cooporating with my request! I am learning the discipline of silence and solitude from this whole experience. I was told to put everything on hold for six weeks, why than is that so hard for me to do without feeling guilty? However, I am learning. I will take Dostoevsky's advice and attend the school of prayer.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
I purchased a new book yesterday titled "Echoing Silence" -- Thomas Merton on the Vocation of Writing--Edited by Robert Inchausti. Thomas Merton who is one of my favorite writers, (who I have spent many hours with over the years reading his journals.) I would like to share the first paragraph from this book:
Thomas Merton began writing as a teenager in an effort to discover who he was and what he believed. This discipline transformed him from a self-confessed middle-class prig into a struggling bohemian artist seeking to forge in the smithy of his soul the uncreated conscience of his race.
Writing as a discipline to understand self and to be transformed...I like this concept! I might still have a chance of being transformed as I continue to write.
In Eugenia Price's book "Early will I Seek Thee, " I started reading the chapter titled, "To be Original." I had to giggle to myself after reading her thoughts, I do want to be original, but without Jesus there simply is no chance. Christ is creator, He lives within me, and is my source of original thoughts and ideas, all I need to do is learn to be silent and tap into His never ending supply of orginal thoughts.
What a great thought to start this day. One more musing from Thomas Merton on writing:
I wanted to be a writer, a poet, a critic, a professor. I wanted to enjoy all of kinds of pleasures of the intellect and of the senses, and in order to have these pleasures I did not hesitate to place myself in situations which I knew would end in spiritual disaster--although generally I was so blinded by my own appetites that I never even clearly considered this fact until it was too late, and the damage was done.
Of course, as far as my ambitions went, their objects were all right in themselves. There is nothing wrong in being a writer or a poet--at least I there is not: but the harm lies in wanting to be one for the gratification of one's own ambitions, and merely in order to bring oneself up to the level demanded by his own internal self-idolatry. Because I was writing for myself and for the world, the things I wrote were rank with the passions and the selfishness and sin from which they sprang. An evil tree brings forth evil fruits, when it brings forth fruit at all.
From these thoughts of Merton and Price what I can conclude is this: When I seek Christ with all of my heart, I will find orginal thoughts and when I write for Jesus it will be Him who recieves the glory and I will be taking from the tree of life not evil...or something like that!
rain has been beating down
unusual for the land of the living skies.
Fantasies of warm estival breezes
tease my mind! Long days
of fuliginous color are teaching silence
mixed with hope of brighter days head.
I actually have the heater on in my study this morning; draught is the norm on the prairies in summer, not moisture!
Well, it will be a great day to study for my class (I need to teach in two weeks). I need prayer! My cloudy head is just not into preparing and learning new approaches. I guess my mind is like the weather--soggy.
A gift from the weather and God is that words are floating around within my totaly satuated mind!
If anyone acually reads this babbling post, I pray you are having a very sunny day filled with joy!
I love it...I just looked up babbling, one difinition is to murmur like a brook does when it flows over stones.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Today, I sat in a meditative garden all alone with my moleskine, pen and ink. It is rather interesting to listen, to really listen to the world around me. The trees had an unspoken language that was full of wisdom and grace. The fauna and flora swayed in the warm estival breezes that blew through the garden. To let all the noise and concerns of life flow away into the earth, opening my heart to receive the ancient song of life, bought healing. To just listen, what a gift I have been given.
Tonight, I found an old friends blog, it was a gift to my soul. Not only did I find one poet's musings, I found two. My desire is sing the song of the poet's.
All of the dark areas of life where there are no easy answers have become places where my character is being shaped and formed.
My office, where wonderful things take form and come alive; I love the south window that allows the sun to kiss my soul.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Leave her alone with her sighs and her tears,
Gray-haired and penniless, feeble and slow—
Where’s an old women to go?
What’s an old women to do when her kin
Fail to remember that hands, worn and thin,
Cared for them, slaved for them, all the years through—
What’s an old woman to do?
What an old woman’s reward for a life
Given to others as Mother and Wife,
Leaving her faltering, furrowed and scored—
What’s an old woman’s reward?
H. E. H.
Reward...What is an old women's reward?
Saturday, January 13, 2007
I am currently reading "Listen" Finding God in the Story of Your Life. Check out Keri Wyatt Kent's website with all of her books. I am interested in reading them all.
I am reading at the moment Listen. I do recommend it!
One thing I would really like to do in life is quilt.
I had an interesting thought today, with all of the reading on learning how to move forward with wounds that come in life I have actually been learning to quilt.
Let me explain through a prayer I wrote earlier:
Thank you God for your grace that takes my pain and sorrow and mixes it with Your love. Then threads the wounded pieces of my heart together with grace creating within my heart a beautiful quilt of many shades. This quilt, that has covered my heart reminds me of Joseph's coat of many colors. Interesting. With all of the sorrow and pain I have experienced God has given me a heart of many colors.
I am learning to guilt the pieces of my wounded heart back together through God's grace.